


come clear my mind

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Barebacking (implied), M/M, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, porn without plot/plot what plot, trans Eggsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: Eggsy and Harry have been taking it slow; that ends tonight.





	come clear my mind

**Author's Note:**

> finally finished! this has been kickin' around my drafts for a while and i just got it finished. i decided there's a distinct dirth of trans eggsy fic and this is my first step in trying to fix that. this is based on my own queer experiences as well as the experiences of other people i know; that's just my disclaimer that this might be different from your personal experiences, etc etc. 
> 
> anywho, hope you enjoy!

Eggsy Unwin is staunchly, unrepentantly _himself_ —at all times. He’s never less than exactly what he is; never pretends to be more than that, either. He holds himself on solid and sure ground, at times seeming untouchable in his confidence. Remarkable, really. Impressive, and as annoying as it is endearing.

Which makes it all the more baffling when Harry is sprawled on the bed, watching Eggsy undress, and the boy’s movements slow to a crawl. The once luscious and inviting blush sours on Eggsy’s skin and reeks of embarrassment, of shame. He’s got his shirt off, had no issue there, but his hands fidget and flex at his waistband.

“Eggsy?” Harry ventures quietly. He sits up on the bed but doesn’t reach out.

Eggsy lets out a shuddering sigh as his hands fall to his sides. “Sorry,” he mutters, not looking at Harry. His hands clench and unclench and shake; _all_ of him shakes. “S’dumb, sorry, gimme a minute.”

Harry can’t sit still any longer. He reaches out and pulls Eggsy closer with a firm grip on his hips. “Eggsy,” he says again, “talk to me.”

Eggsy’s hands find Harry’s shoulders. He still won’t look at Harry, mind, but his shaking does subside slowly. “S’just. Fuck.” Now instead of the carpet, Eggsy points his stare skyward and sighs again. “You prob’ly already know, huh? Y’know everythin’ ‘bout me, it seems.”

Harry waits it out.

“Not gonna help me out here?” Eggsy tries.

“I am entirely honest when I say I don’t know what’s stopping you from dropping your pants, but I am willing to listen if you’d care to share.”

Eggsy _finally_ looks at him, and with eyes wide in shock. “Wha?”

“True, I know plenty about your criminal record, and the less than stellar home life, and I know what your father let slip, rare as those tidbits were.” He rubs soothing circles in the jut of Eggsy’s hips. “But aside from the charming personal information you’ve already deigned to share, I find myself entirely at a loss.”

Eggsy’s hands clench and his nails bite into the skin of Harry’s shoulders. “Fuck, really?”

Harry only nods.

“Aw, fuck. Shit.”

It’d be amusing if Eggsy didn’t sound so genuinely distressed.

“I should’a told you sooner, I know it, so _please_ don’t be mad.” Eggsy doesn’t even breath long enough for Harry to respond. “S’just, we agreed to takin’ it slow and tha’ was great, an’ I just… I didn’t _forget_ ,” he laughs, a hysteric bark. “Jus’ didn’t seem all that important. Until now. _Fuck_.”

“Eggsy, whatever it is that’s got you in a twist, it won’t change anything.”

“But it will!” Eggsy all but shouts. He falls to a hush the next second. “It always does, ain’t never any different.”

“Are you saying I’m like everyone else who’s loved you?” Harry asks with an edge of teasing indignance.

Eggsy startles. “No, nah, Harry, that’s not what m’saying!”

“Then please, Eggsy, what _are_ you saying?”

Eggsy’s blush returns and this time it’s a mottled mix of shame _and_ lust, which Harry admits is a fetching combination. “M’trying to say s’not normal. Down there.”

Whatever Harry was expecting, it certainly wasn’t Eggsy’s rushed words accompanied by the boy shoving one of Harry’s hands to his crotch.

“S’not—I’m not ashamed, but I should’a told you sooner ‘cause that’s just not fair to you. I wasn’t tryin’ to lie, I swear it Harry.” Eggsy doesn’t push Harry’s hand away but he keeps rambling half-apologies.

Harry cuts him off somewhere around the two-minute mark. “Eggsy.”

Eggsy stops with a hiccup. His eyes are shining and Harry curses under his breath.

“Eggsy, let me be perfectly clear when short of outright betrayal there is nothing you could do, or be, or have that would make me love you any less.”

Eggsy starts to shake again but the tears seem to dry up and a smile blooms hesitantly on his lips.

“As for normalcy, I assure you there is nothing abnormal about you.” He gives a teasing rub to the heated skin he can barely make out through Eggsy’s sleep pants. He relishes his lover’s sharp intake of breath. “You are absolutely perfect, my boy.”

Eggsy keens.

“May I?” Harry asks as he grips the elastic waist of Eggsy’s pajamas.

Eggsy just nods. He cants his hips forward and Harry takes the invitation to guide the soft, well-worn pajamas down his boy’s body. He pauses every other second to rub his thumbs over Eggsy’s exposed skin. He doesn’t draw attention to the fact that, though the younger man isn’t wearing underwear, there’s no stiffness tenting the pants. In all honesty, he hadn’t even noticed such a thing until Eggsy drew all attention to his groin.

Harry stops just before the pants can go far enough to expose Eggsy’s body any further. “Is this alright, Eggsy?” The tease of hair along his stomach has Harry’s mouth watering, his own prick heavy in his trousers.

He nods eagerly and Harry drinks in the blush and harsh breathing and heaving chest.

Harry doesn’t look away from Eggsy’s eyes as he tugs the pajamas hard enough to fall and pool around his ankles. Slowly, Harry drags his gaze down the curves and planes of Eggsy’s chest, hips, until he stops at the curled mess of hair between his legs.

“Oh, _Eggsy_ ,” Harry breathes out in a rush. He doesn’t ask for permission, doesn’t say another word; instead he dives forward and laves his tongue in a long stripe across Eggsy’s small, flushed cock. “Gorgeous,” Harry murmurs and lets his words vibrate the sensitive skin.

Unsure hands comb through his hair and Eggsy lets out a rattling breath. “Yeah?”

Harry nods, allows himself the luxury of nuzzling against Eggsy’s skin and drinking in his scent. “Oh yes, my dear.” He kisses just below Eggsy’s navel. “Everything about you is stunning, and this is no different.” Harry gives in to the urge to kiss Eggsy’s cock again. His lips seal perfectly around the hot skin and he sucks gently.

The skin is swollen and heavy, and different from every other dick Harry’s sucked and exactly the same. Different, because this is Eggsy, and he’s unique and sweet and responds so deliciously. The same, because a penis is a penis and Eggsy’s fits so perfectly between Harry’s lips.

The hands in his hair tighten to the point of pain. “Ah! Harry, _fuck_.”

Harry just hums, pleased, and lets the hand curled around Eggsy’s hip trail between his thighs. He pulls back long enough to ask, “may I?” and get a hurried nod in reply before continuing. Lips wrapped around Eggsy once more, he slowly brings a single fingertip to the slightly slick lips between Eggsy’s legs.

“Might, ah, might need some lube,” Eggsy murmurs as his hips roll against the wet heat of Harry’s mouth.

Harry leans back with a nod. “Stay there,” he quietly commands. He crawls back up the bed and digs around in a bedside table; he comes back with two fingers slick and warmed, and by the time he settles, Eggsy has widened his stance just enough to make it that much easier for Harry.

“Good boy,” Harry teases.

Eggsy whimpers.

Harry doesn’t lean in and lap again at Eggsy’s prick, instead watching as he presses one finger into him, slow and sure. He flicks his gaze up to watch Eggsy’s mouth drop open in a silent moan, and rewards the boy with a crook of his finger.

“Harry, _please_ ,” Eggsy groans as his hands land on Harry’s shoulders for support. His hips undulate against Harry’s finger and breathlessly, he pleads, “ _another_.”

In the same moment that he slides two fingers into Eggsy’s wet, loose heat, Harry curls his lips around his lover’s cock again.

He’s rewarded with another keening cry from Eggsy’s lips and the boy’s hips moving faster. Eggsy’s nails dig into Harry’s bare shoulders; every time Harry moans around the cock in his mouth, Eggsy scrambles for purchase and leave welting red lines across Harry’s skin.

Eggsy’s rolled onto the balls of his feet and is thrusting shallowly into Harry’s mouth by the time a third finger joins the other two.

“Harry, _Harry_ , wait.”

Harry pauses in his movements but doesn’t pull away. He looks up at Eggsy from under the curl of his hair falling into his face.

“I want— _fuck_ —m’gonna come.”

Harry sits back. “And?” He asks, earning a pinch to the already abused skin of his shoulders.

“Want you inside me.”

Harry nods understandingly. “You’re quite certain you don’t want me to wring at least one orgasm from you, before that?”

Eggsy wheezes, muttering _“one?”_ under his breath incredulously. “I, ah. I mean.”

“Don’t be shy,” Harry admonishes. He lets the chiding breath fan out over Eggsy’s flushed groin. “Whatever you want, darling boy, and it’s yours.”

Eggsy whines low in his throat. “Yeah, okay. Please.”

Harry makes a pleased noise of his own and returns eagerly to lapping at Eggsy’s cock. He removes his fingers long enough to add a little more lube—although Eggsy is slick enough on his own, by now—before thrusting all three carefully inside and searching relentlessly for the spot that makes Eggsy’s toes curl.

Harry teases the soft, slick skin inside and in the same rhythm, he hums around Eggsy’s prick until the only sounds tumbling from his lover’s lips are faint gasps and hitched moans.

In an instant, without more warning that a sharp inhale, Eggsy goes tight as a bow. His body clenches and a surge of wet arousal soak Harry’s fingers. Harry swallows around Eggsy’s girth even though there’s nothing to drink down, and doesn’t move away until Eggsy’s pushing at his head carefully.

Harry sits back and licks his fingers clean which wrings another round of colorful swears from Eggsy’s mouth.

Eggsy looks like he’s got half a mind to say something, but before Harry can prod it out of him the younger man is clambering onto the bed and working to undo the fastenings of Harry’s trousers.

“Where’s the fire?” Harry asks, propped up on his elbows having lain back to give Eggsy proper space.

“You got any clue how long I been wantin’ this?” Eggsy nearly snarls as he tugs the crisp trousers down tense thighs. He lets them drop to a cluttered pile along with Harry’s silk boxers beside the bed. “Since the fuckin’ day in the pub. Would’a done about anything you asked, y’know that?”

Harry’s hands find Eggsy’s to slow him as he reaches for the tube of slick again. “The feeling was mutual, Eggsy.”

“Yeah?” He asks with a wild look in his eyes, hair a mess and cheeks still deeply flushed.

“It would’ve been exceptionally improper to try anything at the time. But yes.” Like a dance, Harry draws Eggsy’s hands from their laps to his shoulders again. Eggsy’s settles so he brackets Harry’s thighs, and they let out identical hisses of pleasure as their cocks brush together.

“You and your gentlemanly bullshit,” Eggsy mutters as he drops a dollop of lube into his palm. He slicks Harry up without preamble, though the gaze in his eyes is hungry and full of promises. Then Eggsy goes up straight and holds himself over Harry. “Y’ready, yeah? Can I?”

Harry takes Eggsy by the hips. “What are you waiting for?” He taunts.

A lush silence falls over the two of them; it’s the furthest thing from tense, but still rippling with something unspoken. Harry watches Eggsy watch him as the moment stretches. Each time Eggsy’s thighs tense and his body sways, Harry hisses as his cock glides between slick folds. Just when Harry can’t take the teasing any longer, Eggsy seems to sense it. He slides down slowly, gasping sharp as Harry’s cock pushes in.

“Eggsy,” Harry murmurs. His hands flex on Eggsy’s hips, then slide soothingly to his thighs as Eggsy sits flush in his lap. “Are you alright?”

Eggsy nods, almost frantic. “S’good,” he slurs. “Really good, Harry. Jus’ a lot.”

Harry smiles faintly. He brings one hand to Eggsy’s still hot cock and brushes over him tenderly. “Does this help?” He asks as he strokes the heated, swollen skin. He keeps stroking until Eggsy lets out a choked gasp and shoves his hand away.

“Jesus, Harry,” Eggsy says through a part-laugh, part-moan. He rises and sinks back down with a rhythm that’s measured and careful. “Just how many times you think I can come?” It’s mostly rhetorical, Harry knows, but he bucks his hips in response anyway.

“I have high hopes,” he replies. With a quiet grunt he sits up, kisses the hollow of Eggsy’s neck—and idly, in the back of his mind, he realizes the absence of an adams apple he’s never catalogued before—and rolls them over. He presses Eggsy against the blankets and presses deeper into his body. “And I doubt you’ll disappoint, hm?”

Eggsy’s arms curl around Harry’s shoulders swiftly and tug him closer. “Do I ever?”

-

“You really didn’t know?”

Harry rubs the sleep from his eyes and props himself up on one elbow. He looks down at Eggsy’s and traces the curious furrow between his brows; follows the line of hair to the little scar on the side. “Hm?”

“About… me.” Eggsy gestures below the sheets. “You really didn’t know?”

Harry ‘ah’s quietly. “No, I didn’t. Most of my… records on you were from police stations, and news articles. Contrary to what Merlin might like to imply, we didn’t have your apartment bugged for any stretch of time.”

Eggsy grins.

“Lee always called you his son, I never had any evidence to make me think otherwise.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says, a bit dreamy. “Dad an’ mum was always great about it, for as long as I can remember.” Eggsy smiles and tucks the expression against the pillow. Harry trails his touch down his lover’s defined jaw and follows it up with a line of gentle kisses. “You didn’t even notice the scars, did’ya?”

At Harry’s curiously raised eyebrow, Eggsy grabs his hand and drags it to his pectoral.

“You can kinda feel it, little different, yeah?” He draws Harry’s fingertips over the barely discolored skin. “But hardly noticeable.”

Harry hums in agreement. “I hadn’t ever noticed,” he adds. “Thank you.” He adds it after a moment, but it’s not an afterthought.

“Wha’ for?” Eggsy asks, his words slurring with sleep. He moves closer and rolls onto his side. He presses his face to Harry’s shoulder.

“For telling me. For trusting me.” Harry kisses the top of Eggsy’s head.

Eggsy’s grin rests like a brand against Harry’s skin.

The silence stretches, and Harry’s feel bad, but he can’t help but ask.

“Is that why you wanted to wait?”

Eggsy groans. “A bit,” he admits. “But it was more than that, too.”

Harry strokes Eggsy’s rib just enough to elicit a grumpy huff of laughter. “Darling,” Harry coaxes.

“Part of it was… the trans thing, yeah.” Eggsy nods and his hair tickles Harry’s neck. “But a bigger part of it was… I never had this, ya know? Not with anyone else.” Eggsy finally looks up. “With everyone else it was either nothin’ at all, or just quick n’dirty. Dean wasn’t fond of me getting along with boys so those were especially…”

Eggsy shrugs. “They weren’t nothing, not like you. Especially not about…” Eggsy drops his gaze again and brings lazy fingers to toy with the curls of chest hair smattered over Harry’s skin. “Wanted to savor it. Wanted something more than I had before, yeah?” Eggsy’s blush is so fierce it burns Harry, just a bit. “An’ I got it, I got you. And this. And you don’t give a shit that I’m—I’m me.”

Harry curls both his arms around Eggsy now; he stops trailing his fingertips over his lover and just holds him, instead. “Of course, Eggsy.”

“Can we sleep now?” Eggsy asks after a beat. Harry knows if he wanted to, he could ask. He could keep Eggsy awake until the wee hours, with questions and kisses and anything else they felt like.

“Yes, dear,” Harry replies, only a touch mocking. It earns him a pinch to the side, which he accepts gracefully. There’s still more he’d like to ask, more he’d like to know, but he doesn’t. It’ll come, with time. Just like this did. He holds Eggsy a little tighter, earns another pinch for his efforts, and dozes off to the sounds of Eggsy doing the same.


End file.
